'I took a DNA test - it blew my life apart'

People whose family tracing did not go to plan are warning others about the risks, with one man saying he would not do it "if he had his time again". Following his father's death in 2022, John from East Sussex said his wife bought him a family DNA testing kit as a Christmas present to cheer him up. 

But when the results came back, he found out his dad was not his biological father and he was, in fact, the son of a family friend. "I was devastated," John said. "It completely upended everything I thought I knew." The 60-year-old said he felt "perversely lucky" since the parents involved had passed away, sparing him "difficult conversations". 

But he added there was also "no-one to get answers from". "My mother would have made an amazing poker player because she kept a straight face for 50 years," John continued. "No one had a clue." 'Dirty secret' John said his newly discovered half siblings largely refused to speak to him, with one even becoming hostile when he approached them, though another provided him with medical history. 

He had counselling over what happened - viewing himself as a "dirty secret" - but said he was now at peace. John said TV programmes and genealogy companies "drive this theory that every outcome is good, that you'll find war heroes... or a suffragette, but lots of people don't." 

 He had seen cases of people discovering they were the result of rape, incest and "all sorts of horror stories", he said. John added DNA testing kits should better warn about possible bad outcomes and urged people not to romanticise family tracing. 

 "In this day and age, you get warned about the salt level in your bacon... but people [can get] their whole lives [and] mental health blown apart," he said. DNA testing kits generally warn about potentially life-altering outcomes either before purchase or when accessing results, although there have been calls to improve these warnings. Source:BBC